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Here are some things I got off of other sites that I thought were pretty good. I know, it is kinda long, but it is all worth reading if you can. Scroll down to the bottom to learn some easy Elvish words.
And this is a cool link to a COOL quiz. I am Sam. Yippee!
Samwise the brave. The true hero of this piece.
Who, in the world of tLotR, are you?
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Some LOTR Jokes (will update this alot)
Frodo and Sam are in Lothlorien at night, just about to go to sleep. Suddenly, Frodo turns to Sam and says- "Sam, look up. What do you see?"
Sam thinks for a moment, then turns to Frodo and says-
"Master, I see the stars in the heavens. They seem to be a never-ending map of heavens. They are infinite, shrouded in mystery, beautiful and amazing to behold, and far too complex for a young hobbit such as myself to fully comprehend.
And Frodo replies- "Sam, you fool, someone stole our tent!! ~~ "This is my friend, Gimli" - Legolas introduced the dwarf to Treebeard.
Treebeard looked at Gimli's axe suspiciously.
"And his axe is not for trees." - Legolas continued. "He chops the orc's heads off with it.."
"Hum, rurum. Really?! - Treebeard said in relief.
"Really!" - said Gimli. "For trees I've got a saw..." ~~ "Cut...CUT!! You idiots! I said you better save the dairy shelves. NOT shave the hairy elves..." ~~
Gimli walked into a bar and sat down next to an elf. He proudly introduced himself - "I'm Gimli. I have the eyes of an eagle and the ears of a fox!
The elf bought him an ale and they had a nice chat. After a while the elf got a bit drunk and decided to leave.
"It was interesting to get to know you, dwarf" - he said. "You really live up to that name of yours.."
Gimli felt quite good hearing that. As the elf wabbled out Gimli could hear him laugh to himself.-
"Gilmore. I have the brain of a seagull and the tail of a fox in my face... Must remember that!"
~~
Merry and Pippin are at night-camp. Merry comes back from the dark forest and finds Pippin tied up to a tree. A bunch of orcs are sitting by the fire. Merry stops- "Pip, what the mushrooms is going on here? All I said was that I'll be right back, stay tight, clean and pile our plates and forks.."
Pippin looks up, quite happy and answers-
"OH! That's it! I thought you said I'll be right back, meanwhile invite our mates the orcs.."
~~
An orc captain was marching his entire army to attack Rivendell, they were passing an old abandoned city when they heard a voice within the ancient city's walls: "One Elf is better than ten orc soldiers!" The captain was enraged and immediately sent ten of his best troops over the walls while the remainder of the company waited outside. Then came the sound of a terrific fight going on, soon all was quiet. Then the voice spoke again: "One Elven soldier is better than a hundred orc soldiers!" Well, the captain sent hundred of his best men over the walls. Soon came the sounds of fight and then silence. The voice spoke up again: "One Elven soldier is better than a thousand orc soldiers!" The captain was furious. He immediately sent the remainder of his troops over the walls save only himself.
There came the sound of a fierce battle, and then silence followed by the sound of an elf laughing. Finally, one lone orc stumbled back from the battle and collapsed at the captains feet. "Speak! What happened?" asked the captain. The soldier replied with his last breath. "It....was...a trap...there's...TWO...of...them..."
~~
A small hobbit walks in the doctor's office.
"What can I do for you?" the doctor asks.
The hobbit answers unhappily: "I'm loosing my hair.."
The doctor takes a quick look at his hair and smiles: "No chance that you will get bold. Your hair is thick, healthy and shiny!!"
The hobbit angrily replies: "Not on my head, you fool. On my feet..."
~~
What did the guy say when he bumped into the wizard?
"Saruman, I didn’t see you there."
~~
How did the hobbit ruin the boxing match?
He tried to destroy the ring
~~
What did Pippin do when he got drunk?
He began to feel Merry
~~
A hobbit was terribly overweight, so her doctor put her on a diet. "I want you to eat regularly for 2 days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for 2 weeks. The next time I see you, you’ll have lost at least 5 pounds."
When the hobbit returned, she shocked the doctor by losing nearly 20 pounds.
"Why, that’s amazing!" the doctor said, "Did you follow my instructions?"
The hobbit nodded. "I’ll tell you though, I thought I was going to drop dead that 3rd day "from hunger you mean?" "No from skipping".
~~
The Pains of Radagast:
Radagast had stayed up all night studying for his zoology test the next day. As he entered the classroom, he saw ten stands with ten legs on them. Each bird had a sack over its head; only the legs were showing.
He sat straight in the front row because he wanted to do the best job possible. Yavanna announced that the test would be to look at each of the birds’ legs and give the common name, habitat, genus and species. The student looked at each of the birds’ legs. They all looked the same to him. He began to get upset. He had stayed up all night studying and now had to identify birds by their legs. The more he thought about it the madder he got.
Finally he could stand it no longer. He went up to Yavanna’s desk and said, "What a stupid test! How could anyone tell the difference between birds by looking at their legs?" With that Radagast threw his test on Yavanna’s desk and walked to the door.
Yavanna was surprised. The class was so big that she didn’t know every potential Maia’s name so as Radagast reached the door Yavanna called, "Maia, what’s your name?"
The enraged Radagast pulled up his cloak, showing his leg and said, "You tell me! You tell me!"
You Might Be A Fellow Tolkienite If:
You might be a Tolkienite if:
- You know what a Tolkienite actually is.
- You read Lord of the Rings at least three times a year
- You can rattle off the names of the thirteen dwarves
- When you go for a walk, you try to be as quiet as a hobbit
- You insist you’re an Elf
- You keep a lookout for Orcs and wolves while walking in the woods
- Your parents are tired of hearing you go on and on about Arwen’s role in the movies
- You know what the Rolling Spiked Wheelie-Dealie is
- You’re positive the RSWD was a publicity stunt wasn’t it?
- You have a first and last name and a bio for your ME persona
- You’re pretty sure you’ve seen a Palantir
- You insisted that your engagement/wedding ring be engraved with tiny little Runic characters
- You know the whole Rings poem by heart
- You’re furious over every character they’re leaving out of the movies
- You have the trailer downloaded to your hard drive and watch it every day
- You’ve seen all the different teaser posters either online or in theaters
- You know the entire history of Middle Earth
- You can’t wait to see how they’re handling the “Surfing Legolas” bit in the movies
- You name your silver car Shadowfax
- You kill anyone who asks, “Seriously, what is Tolkien?”
- You write lists like this
- You try to engage your friends in a debate over which language(s) Black Speech sounds like
- You learn the Entish language
- Your daydreams/fantasies include one or more LOTR characters
- You start a countdown to the first release date over seven months away
- You can’t believe they moved the release date back a whole year!
- “What do you mean, my ears are starting to look a little pointy?!”
- You’re so purist, people are afraid to mention Arwen’s name in your presence
- If anyone even mentions Balrog Wings, you’ll explode.
- Gollum DOES live in your basement.
- You planted a Mallorn tree in your back yard when you were seven (but it hasn't grown quite yet).
- All of your friends take a step away from you whenever someone refers to Gandalf (g-au-nd-au-lf) as G-an-d-a-lf.
- You hang out in a shadowed corner of bars to pester little people.
- You wish your feet were bigger and only wear shoes when necessary.
- You refer to your garden as "Gamgee's Garden."
- You carry a bottle of water with you when you go out. If you get mugged you hold it up and start chanting in Elven.
- You have a fear of spiders. (Who knows when one will grow to the size of your house?)
- You abbreviate all the names of the movies.
- you own all of the LOTR soundtracks, movies, posters and books
-Your dad, whose never read the books, knows every line from every movie because he saw you watch them a million times.
- You put Rogaine on your feet.
- Everything on this list applies to you.
- All you really want for Christmas is the Extended Edition ROTK DVD.
- You're sure that someone's always out to get you.
- You refer to yourself as Smeagol.
- You talk to the cardboard Legolas in your room.
- You get mad every time you watch Shrek 2 and see the dwarves forging the ring.
-You know that the plastic ring that came with that action figure is overtaking you.
- You call every guy you've ever liked "Vanimelda".
- You give up a birthday party so that you can get an Evenstar pendant.
- You keep a lookout for Orcs and wolves while walking in the woods.
- You planted a Mallorn tree in your back yard when you were seven (but it hasn't grown quite yet).
- You insist the Tolkiens version of "The Cat and the Fiddle" was the original and so far all your friends have given up arguing with you.
- When driving past a small town with twinlking lights you shout: "look, look! Rivendell!" (there's one is Cape Town SA)
- You have lengthly conversations with trees
- You say "friend" before entering any door. You're best friend's initial response is "It's not gonna open by itself"
- Whenever you go anywhere you act as if it's this great advernture that you have to undertake.
- After the movie your first response was: "I feel as a third of my being has been fulfilled"
- You were seriously confused when you just grew and grew.
You know that the Lord of the Rings was something that really happened in history, and not just a made-up fairy-tale.
You want to visit Middle-Earth more than anywhere else.
You want to kill anyone who says the books are boring even though they haven't tried to read them and they just think they look to long.
You can speak fluent Quenya / Sindarin
You can write in the Tengwar / Cirth
You were furious to learn that the Rivendell Elves spoke Sindarin, when they should have been speaking Quenya. If you can tell the difference, why can't everyone else?
You're on as many LOTR mailing lists as you can find
You write / read LOTR fanfiction
You bought as many FOTR movie posters as could fit in your room, and have plans to plaster the ceiling with TTT posters
You are collecting the action figures
You know every line in FOTR off by heart
You have read the Silmarillion and Unfinished Tales
You want to kill whoever started that petition about changing the name of the second film
You know all of Aragorn's names
You know all of Gandalf's names
You're in love with at least three characters / actors
You've done LOTR Role Play
You're making your own Elven-style armour
You make a point of wearing Arwen's hairstyle / Legolas' hairstyle / Elrond's hairstyle every day of the week
You know who Malfanaion is
You can name every member of Elrond's family
You went to the movies more than 10 times to see FOTR
You aim to beat that record when TTT comes out
You dislike Dwarves on the grounds that if the Elves do, it's got to be right
You try to force your boyfriend to learn swordfighting / archery / sorcery / frying-pan martial arts
You won't go out with any guy who doesn't have perfectly chiseled features, a hairless face, and long, silky head-hair that goes to somewhere around their waist.
You search for oversized bunny-holes that could possibly be where Hobbits live.
Everything you look at reminds you of LOTR
You stare in disgust at anyone who actually likes Galadriel
You are on a continuing mission to gather every gold ring in the world, and toss them into the nearest volatile volcano
You're convinced that one day, Melkor *will* return
Everything you eat contains several kinds of mushrooms.
Your friends go silent in fear if someone refers to elves as Santa's little helpers in front of you.
You listen to the LOTR sound track each night and drift off to sleep dreaming about the movie.
You have all the LOTR book marks displayed on your wall along with your ticket stubs and key chains.
You wish you had a hobbit child to keep as your pet .
You've memorized all the songs and poems, even the ones in elvish.
You refer to the sun as she.
You named the tree in your yard Treebeard.
A life with out J.R.R. Tolkien seems impossible to you.
You can't read a book with out comparing it to Tolkien's work.
No matter how many times you see The Fellowship of the Ring and no matter how many times your friend rolls her eyes and says "He comes back in the second movie idiot!" you will always cry at the part when Gandalf falls off the bridge in Moria.
Learn A Little Elvish
~*Greetings*~ A star shall shine on the hour of our meeting Elen sila lumenn omentielvo Good (day/morning/afternoon/evening) 'Quel (re/amrun/andune/undome) Greetings (everyone) Vedui' (il'er) Hail Aaye
It has been too long Nae saian luume'
My heart sings to see thee Cormamin lindua ele lle
Pleasure meeting you Saesa omentien lle
Well met Mae govannen
~*Farewells*~
Fair winds Vanya sulie
Farewell Namaarie
Good (day/afternoon/evening/night) Quel (re/andune/lome/du)
Good hunting Quel fara
May the leaves of your life tree never turn brown Aa' lasser en lle coia orn n' omenta gurtha
May the wind fill your sails Aa' i'sul nora lanne'lle
May thy paths be green and the breeze on thy back Aa' menle nauva calen ar' ta hwesta e' ale'quenle
May your ways be green and golden Aa' menealle nauva calen ar' malta
My heart shall weep until it sees thee again Cormamin niuve tenna' ta elea lle au'
Rest well Quel esta
Sleep well Quel kaima
Sweet water and light laughter till next we meet Lissenen ar' maska'lalaith tenna' lye omentuva
Until later (then) Tenna' telwan (san')
Until next we meet Tenna' ento lye omenta
Until then Tenna' san'
Until tomorrow (then) Tenna' tul're (san')
~*Compliments*~
Ever is thy sight a joy Oio naa elealla alasse'
You are a mighty warrior Lle naa belegohtar
You are a skillful bowman Lle naa curucuar
You are beautiful Lle naa vanima
You did well Lle ume quel
You look good Lle maa quel
Your beauty shines bright Vanimle sila tiri
Your heart is that of the lion Cormlle naa tanya tel'raa
~*Insults*~
Cowardly dog(s) Nadorhuan(rim)
Feast of wolves (slain enemy) Mereth en draugrim
Gate bird (slain enemy) Andodulin
Go kiss an orc Auta miqula orqu
I hate you Amin delotha lle
Listen to my laughter Lasta lalaithamin
Much wind pours from your mouth Antolle ulua sulrim
Son of snakes (dishonest person) Utinu en lokirim
You are king in your imagination Lle naa haran e' nausalle
You disgust me Amin feuya ten' lle
You smell like a human Lle holma ve' edan
You're ugly and your mother dresses you funny Llie n'vanima ar' lle atara lanneina
Your head is empty Dolle naa lost
~*Miscellaneous*~ (Quotes)
Galadriel: I amar prestar aen, han mathon ne nen, han mathon ne chae a han noston ned 'wilith. = 'The world is changed; I can feel it in the water, I can feel it in the earth, I can smell it in the air.'
Elrond: Tangado haid! Leithio i philinn! = 'Hold [your] positions! Fire the arrows!'
Arwen: Frodo, im Arwen. Telin le thaed.Lasto beth nîn... Tolo dan na ngalad = 'Frodo, I am Arwen - I've come to help you. Hear my voice... Come back to the light.'
Arwen: A si i-Dhúath ú-orthor, Aragorn. Ú or le a ú or nin. Renich i lú i erui govannem? Aragorn: Nauthannen i ned ôl reniannen. Arwen: Gwennin in enninath... Ú-'arnech in naeth i si celich. Renich i beth i pennen? = Arwen: 'The Shadow does not hold sway yet' [Lit. 'Till now the Shadow not masters, Aragorn.'] 'Not over you and not over me. Do you remember the time when we first met?' Aragorn: 'I thought I had strayed into a dream' Arwen: 'Long years have passed...You did not have the cares you carry now. Do you remember the word I told you?'
Noro lim! = Ride fast!
Havo dad = Sit down
Le aphadar aen = You are being followed
tula vasa ar' yulna en i'mereth - come eat and drink of the feast
~*Days of the Week*~
Elenya - Monday, Anarya - Tuesday, Isilya - Wednesday, Alduya - Thursday, Menelya - Friday, Valanya - Saturday, Tarion - Sunday
~*Months*~
Narvinye - January, Nenime - February, Sulime- March, Viresse - April, Lotesse - May, Narie - June, Cermie - July, Urime - August, Yavannie - September, Narquelie - October, Hisime - November, Ringare - December
~*Colours*~
Agaru - Crimson Meneluin - Sky Blue Baru - Brown Mith, Thin - Grey Calen, Galen - Green Mithlin - Grey-Blue Car, Caren, Carne - Red Mor - Black Carnim - Pink Morlin - Dark Blue Celeb, Telep, Telpe - Silver Nar - Orange-Red Coria - Violet, Purple, Lavender Nim - White Cul - Golden-Red Nimphel - Pearl Earcalen - Sea-Green Ninniach - Rainbow Glor, Laure - Gold Ruin, Runya - Flame-Red Lith - Ash Losse - Snow-White Luin - Blue Mal - Yellow
~*Directions*~
For, Forn, Formen - North
Har, Harn, Harad - South
Rhun - East
Numen - West
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